"Living For an Audience of One"

Ok, so I had a really nice walk around the lake with my friend, Corrie today. This is a link to her blog and she wrote a new article about moms who say, "no!". I loved it, so here it is, check it out: http://honer6.blogspot.com/

God knew what he was doing when he picked her to be my friend :)

Counting the Cost

Counting the Cost:

When we are going to buy something, one of the first things on our mind is "how much is it; what is it going to cost me". Seldom do we buy something and not pay attention to what the cost is, except when we are paying for something with our life. You can pay for things with your life through your time, your stress, your children's time, your soul, your health, all kinds of things. But, what does it mean to "count the cost"? It means you have to ask yourself what you are going to have to pay or give for what you get in return. It means you have to ask yourself what something is worth. Every single one of us has bought something, but not all of us have stopped to really count the cost of what we are buying. We often pay for something with so much more than just our money.

Josh and I are living our lives "counting the cost". When our first son was born, we counted the cost of me continuing to work. The cost was way too high for what we would get. We would be trading time with our son for money and for things that are going to burn up. So, instead we bought time and memories and gave up the rest. What we bought is eternal, it can't burn up in the fire. Our sons heart and soul is worth more than anything we could gain in this life. Every day when I look at my son, I see the fruit of the choice we have made.

Recently Josh had an opportunity to make significant money by doing contracting work for his former employers. Being on one income, that can be alluring. But, after counting the cost we decided that more stress for Josh and less time with him was too high of a price to pay for what we would get. Noah and Elijah are growing up, we are on borrowed time with our young boys and playing ball at the park with their Dad was worth more than extra dollars in our bank account. Ever hear the song "The Cats in the Cradle"? Well, as depressing as that song is, I love it because it makes me wake up. You had better enjoy your kids now while they want to enjoy you or by the time you are ready to enjoy them, they'll be gone. Sadly, they will often repeat the same thing with their family and their kids. I'm not trading our precious, irreplaceable time as a family for houses, cars and things.

When we chose for me to be home with our kids, it meant living on one income. For most people, living on one income means you make choices and you give things up. Years back, we chose to have me stay home, live in an apartment and have one car instead of two. We chose to give up "stuff" and image to be with our child. This time in our life consisted of me doing a lot of walking to get out, but it was worth what I got in return. Those memories of pushing my son in the stroller to the park, enjoying the weather and spending time with him are precious to me. No distractions, just time together. Irreplaceable time and it was by far the greatest gift I could ever have been given from God.

Now, we have two cars, but still have not bought a house. But, I'm able to stay home with BOTH of my sons. It's worth it. We have chosen to live below our means. Last summer we made a decision to rent a house and after 6 months decided the cost was too high, it has not been worth it. We are throwing money away that we could be using to live and to make memories and do stuff with our kids. We have had increased stress and it was an illusion. We did not make the wisest decision, but now we are. We are chosing to go back to our apartment when our lease is up. We counted the cost and none of it has been worth it. Our apartment WAS home, our kids were happy and we had less stress.

Me staying home has not been just a good or great decision that we made, it has been a wise decision. Our society would probably call us fools for making such a choice. What about our future? What about our retirement? What about college for our kids? What about it? Our future is not in the hands of the bank and the dollars in it. Our future rests in the hands of God and I am pretty certain that if he was capable of forming us, creating us, creating everything we see, breathing our very life into us, He is capable of holding our future in His hands, too. It is not unwise to do what you can, but there is a balance. We have 401k and we invest in that, we have health insurance and life insurance, but man does not live on bread alone! God sustains us. Would he hold our lives any differently without all of that? I don't believe He would and I don't believe that He does. Some would say, "well, you have to be a good steward of what God has given you". YUP!!! We are, he gave us two children to raise and I am pretty certain that by putting them first, we are being good stewards. People place way way too much importance on things and on money and not enough importance on their kids and people. THAT is being a poor steward, in my opinion.

I often wonder what it would look like if we truly put our faith in God and stopped trying to save our lives. What if we took our money that we put in all our "investments" and started to invest in people instead? Since when is our retirement more powerful than God? Doesn't the Bible say to "seek first the kingdom of Heaven and the rest will be added unto you". That scripture tells us to focus on what matters and to let God handle the rest. Well, right now, my family matters, they come first and God is enough and fully capable of taking care of our needs. That scripture tells us to focus on people, not our accounts, not our retirement, not buying houses - just people.

When you don't stop to count the cost you end up buying an illusion. You end up buying lies. You end up selling what makes life precious and meaningful and buying what rots and withers away. Our society has made God look powerless, small and insignificant. How? Well, the answer is easy. Look at where people put their faith. Look at how people are caring for their children. Look around. Look at this generation that is being raised. People are losing their souls. It seems that kids just dont' care about anything. Most of them have been raised in daycare or by someone else, their parents are too stressed and too busy to pay attention, they try and make up for the lack of themselves being around with stuff and in the process these kids have no clue what love it. It's a mess.

So, in everything we do, we need to count the cost. We need to start asking if what we are paying and what we are paying with is worth what we are getting in return. Is it worth it to Josh and I to buy a house to just survive, to be totally stressed out, to miss out on time and memories with our kids and put strain on our marriage? Or, would it be better to live - to really live, to have peace, make memories and seek the kingdom and let the rest worry about itself. I already counted the cost and it's too much.